"The moment I saw you downstairs,
I knew..."
-My Favourite wife
~A D V I K~
It's been a week and I can't stop myself from replaying that moment again and again in my mind.
What it felt like to be that close to her again?
It was like being hit by a fu-cking thunderbolt
It's a lot easier when I don't have to look at her.
So I did it. Burrying myself in my work. Late nights in study, early mornings in the gym.
When I entered The Oberoi Mansion,
It was already past midnight. The house was cold, dark and silent. Only the sound of my footsteps echoed through the hallways.
Tomorrow will be Sunday, that means I will stay home. Which was a challenge itself. And since tomorrow was going to be an important Ritual tomorrow.
Dadi , had warned me about it. I was supposed to perform the puja with my wife Aarohi. As the newlyweds.
Relatives, Friends, family.
Even the thought of being surrounded by them and fake smiling makes me disgusted in the gut.
I don't hate them, but the thought of fakin smiles, listening to their self depreciation and advice for me.
Not welcome.
Not very exciting.
I loosened my tie, as I entered our shared bedroom, the one on the second floor. The room was dark, except for the tiny table lamp which lit the corner. She sat there. Leaned on the chair.
My wife. Waiting for me...
A book in her lap, her head rested awkwardly on the chair. Her eyes shut, her breathing was even. Soft. Silent.
Her dupatta had slipped off her shoulder. Her hair was in a loose braid, from which the loose strands fell down. Over her face, irritating her as she looked irritated in her sleep.
For a moment I starred. Then for another.
Her cheeks were red. Her lips pressed in a thin line.
She looked..... devastatingly ravishing.
I slowly lifted one hand of mine, tucking the stray strand behind her ear. At my touch, she leaned in. My fingers stayed on her cheek for a minute long.
After lots of mental calculation, IÂ took a deep breath. And then slowly I hooked my one arm around her shoulder, the other scooping her frame into my arms.
I quickly moved her onto the bed. The mattress deeped at her weight. I slowly tucked the duvet over her.
"You don't have to wait for me..." I whispered to myself, staring at her serenity for a minute longer.
No one has did that before. For me.
She had this bad habit of staying up till I returned. Then warming up the food for me. And eating with me.
No one did that.
Like initially my mother used to do that, but I declined her.
Today was an exception as I had dinner with a client. So I did inform her not to wait for me.
Tomorrow will be a long day. With the relatives, and rituals. But at this moment none of it mattered. I was alone with my wife.
The sleeping beauty, her.
And the beast, me staring at her.
What is wrong with me...?
Even this , very mundane thing feels too good to be true.
I took a quick shower, changing into comfort. And then rested on the bed, beside her.
But sleep couldn't find me today, her scent drove me mad.
She was sleeping like a child in her blanket, her breath steady . While I propped myself on the pillow, facing her. And just studying her face.
The room was quite, only the rise and fall of her chest.
Damnn.
I should be sleeping, but I couldn't. Instead, I was watching her like a creep .
Seconds, minutes , hours passed.
And some how, the exhaustion took over me.
.
.
.
But it lasted for only a short time.
I felt her movements beside me.
I uncomfortably rubbed my eyes, it had taken me hours to fall asleep and now it was gone.
When I opened my eyes, she was already tossing and turning. Her face was scrunched into discomfort.
A soft groan left her mouth.
"Heyy whatz bothering you...?" I asked, suppressing a yawn. My voice is still groogy with sleep. She Fully opened her eyes, looking at me for a while, before her face scrunched up in pain again.
It didn't take me long to figure out what was wrong. I quickly sat up.
"Is it very bad..?" I ask softly, tucking behind her stray strands.
She nodded once. "Bad"
"Medicine....?" I asked , at which she nodded again.
I quickly got up. My movement is a little wobbly since I was still half in my sleepy state. But I quickly found the first aid kit in one of the drawers.
Pulling out the pain killers, I quickly held them in front of her with the glass of water.
She took it, but when she plopped the pill in her mouth, she did that disgusted face again. Which was quite funny, because the way her brows furrowed and her lips dropped in a loop sided thing. It did something stupid to my heart.
It was adorable.
"Thanks" she said after sometime, this conversation couldn't become more uncomfortable.
She slowly rose from the bed , for the washroom. And then it happened. We both noticed the red stain on the bedsheet beneath her. At the same time.
Her face panicked immediately. She mumbled lots of apologies. In a breath.
I slowly, unsure, rested my palms over her shoulder. "It's fine. No need to apologise" I said, trying to reassure this frantically panicked woman.
"Go . Change. "
When she left, I quickly changed the covers. Tossing the stained one for laundry. Then I moved downstairs. In kitchen. Preparing herbal tea for her cramps.
When I returned back. With The warm tea cup in my hand. She was already settled into something comfortable now.
"For you" I directed towards the cup.
"Thank you"
"You thank me alot" I said with a suppressed chuckle. Dropping beside her.
She blew softly on the warm liquid. "You always do things like these. For me"
I could melt at those words, she deserves it all. She is my woman . And I had do anything for her. This is bare minimum.
She took a slow sip, before facing me.
"The puja ..?" Her face went from comfort to worry and something I can't name.
"What about that..?"
"It was supposed to be US performing it. I can't now" she explains.
Ohh yah . The whole woman are too impure to pray for 5 days shit thingy.
"That's not important. Who believes that anyway "
"I do. I can't perform Rituals on Periods " she backed off her own words.
"You do realise God is a woman"
"That is not the point. Dadi, Dadu, family , Everyone is so excited. Relatives will be here tomorrow. For US. And I drop the Bomb shell. " She takes another sip of the tea. Before placing it down on the side table.
"It's fine Aarohi. Not the end of the world if you don't perform a Ritual. Gods won't hate you for this. And who cares about others. I don't ."
"You won't understand because you are not a woman"
That was A low blow to my pride.
" I even considered taking pills. I should have -" I don't let her finish the words , my index finger stays on her lips. As if it's his place.
"Don't. Don't ever do that. " I say, my voice is a little rougher than I intended " you are not going to think that again. You are not going to ruin your body for some shitty ritual. Ever again. Not under my watch. Never.
Clear...?"
She nods, once. Twice.
"I will take care of tomorrow. Now rest" I say propping her comfortably on the bed.
I checked the time. 4 am. Great.
.
.
.
.
The Oberoi Mansion buzzled through the morning. The preparations for the ritual already started. The staff moved all over the place , doing the decorations. The flower garlands displayed over the walls.
Rangoli's were made at the entrance . The Oberoi women needed perfection when it came to traditions. Especially when the whole lot of relatives will be watching.
My mother and Aunt, whom I referred to as 'Badi maa' , the mother of my stupid dick off an idiot cousin Adesh and Aditya.
They were discussing the food arrangements in the kitchen. The kitchen staff prepared for the wide spread of delicacies. Mostly the Indian one today.
The smell of spices and herbs filled the dining room. And kitchen.
My dadi, the Matriarch of the Oberoi rested on her wooden chair, sipping her tea. Like an absolute queen she was. Monitoring everything with the calm.
The members, literally danced on her fingers.
My sister Adheera , fussed over her dress with my mom. Who was already busy.
"I don't have clothes!!!!" She concluded with a deep sigh and a pout. Which was similar to mine.
"Ever tried opening your cupboard sista" I say slipping my hand over her shoulder. Irritating her was my best past time.
"Don't provoke me. " She says, elbowing me harshly. Damn woman. I flinched as If I was burned .
"You are weird!!" I say stepping away from her, leaning on the door.
She in response shows me her tongue.
"Advik!!" "Adheera!!" My mother shouts out. "For the love of god. You both are adults"
"I know" we both say in a unison, as Adheera lifts a accusatory finger at me
"He started it. "
"Dahh what..?!" I asked myself, "this is why I prefer the office over you. You tiny 5 feet gorilla!!" I hiss back .
"Am not a gorilla you fucking Giraffe" she retorts.
Adesh, my little cousin. Who is not so little but 26 starts his mock commentary.
"Are we allowed to use profanity Chachi...?" Adesh asks pointing at Adheera "she used a curse word"
"Am 24 year old grown ass woman" Adheera says, skeptically looking at mom for her response "what are you, a toddler "
"He has a point " My mother says, supporting Adesh . "No bad words in this house"
Adheera tosses her hairs dramatically from one shoulder to another before saying
"My mother does not teach me how to live my life" then with a smirk adds "Megan Thee Stallion does". Her hands rest on her hips.
The perks of being the only spoilt daughter of Oberoi is that
my mother only rolls her eyes " She and her stupid analogies."
If it was me, I would have been mass attacked by my mothers chappal .
Sometimes I feel like I was adopted, Then again, I look like my parents .
That earns her, Adheera a well deserved slap on her shoulder. From me. Because I am not letting her be alive after dismantling my mother.
Though it was playful, she looked at me annoyed before digging her nails in my hand.
That shit hurt.
"On one side we have the gorilla Adheera and on the other side we have Giraffe Advik. "
He , Adesh comments, holding a ladle as his mic.
"Shut the fuck up you Chimpanzee" I and Adheera groan in unison.
"I prefer being called a muscle bunny" he says, feinging a pout.
"Chimpanzee" Adheera shoots back.
"As if. Muscle bunny..? Wanna compete with me....?" I ask with a loop sided grin. I can take him over anytime. Ofcourse his built, but not as much as me. Am taller than him and more sturdy.
"Three of you. Out. Now" badi maa growls at three of us. She will surely murder all of us if we disturb her morning peace.
Adesh rolls his eyes muttering something like 'giraffe' before going out, Adheera follows him.
"Maa. Dadi. Badi maa. I have something important to tell you guys" I announce once both of them are gone. The three women turn to face me. With a collection of "whats...?"
"The ritual....we can't perform them" I say, my fingers drumming over the kitchentop. As I contemplate my next words. Trying to sound composed.
"Why..?" My mother asks.
"She... she's on her period" I could feel myself burning deep down. Am not embarrassed about her being on her periods. Like it's the most natural thing . But somehow telling it to others, something that is just our thing. Feels wrong.
"That's bad" Badi maa breaks the long streched silence. Her expression is unreadable but I know there are a thousand thoughts running through her head.
"We can't postpone the Puja. The invitations are sent" Dadi says, slowly placing the cup aside.
My mother is silent for long. To be honest, she has not really accepted the fact about Her being my wife. Well that's understandable. But I do hope that she does not hate her.
"Always problematic isn't she" my mother says finally, in a low voice. Her tone wasn't mocking, but her words were definitely harsh.
"You both can stay in the audience" badi maa suggests. "Someone else will do puja"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I dressed up in my ivory kurta, neatly ironed and spotless. Thank God my family wasn't really mad about it. So it was better. Even though Aarohi looked apologetic, at least we weren't ditching the whole thing.
We could stay in the same room , watching from the sidelines.
I was adjusting my cufflinks when I saw her walk out from the walk- in closet.
In a navy blue saree, which hugged her frame so purely . She looked pretty as always, except for the tiny acne which was over her face. Hormones.
But they only made her real. Human. Beauty, she was. Despite acne.
She was adjusting her pleats, the bangles she wore. Her chuda....red. clinking softly .
The sound was maddening.
Her mist, something that smelled like vanilla and roses. Something I can't name. It was sweet.
This was so real. So pure. My wife, looking like a human and not an over decorated Christmas tree. My bride, in her chuda. Which was undoing me , slowly. Like a slow poison. Spreading across my body.
We ain't calling this shit normal.
I clear my throat, gaining her attention.
"Shall I help...?" I ask, taking a slow step towards her. Pointing at the pleats. She nodded, as i dropped on my knees.
Adjusting the soft fabric with my fingers. One over other.
My movement is slow and precise. Like I had done this before.
Practically yes. Having a little sister teaches you alot of things.
And now,
I was on my knees for this woman. And not in a way which is associated with dark fantasies. But for something as mundane as this.
Even though I won't mind the first one too.
I was just a man , helping my wife . For the most bizarre thing.
Advik from 6 months ago will kick me in the balls and shake me and laugh at me for being like this.
This homely.
This caring.
This Manly.
When it was done, I slowly got up.
She thanked me again, admiring herself in the mirror. While I leaned onto the wall, admiring her.
She was doing her makeup. Applying the Black kohl over her eyeline. The soft red lipstick over her plump lips. She was so deep in her world. Doing her task. While I was too distracted by the way her lips parted .
How she did a little 'uff' when the lipstick spread a little bit out .
I wanted to drag my thumb over it . Shit.
Don't let your intrusive thoughts win
Then she looked in her makeup vanity. Searching for something. Frantically.
"What are you looking for...?" I ask, irritated because I was already restless looking at her.
"Mascara. It's not here" she says, searching through the vanity again.
"Listen. Whatever it is. " I step a little closer, as she stiffens " you don't need it. You look beautiful already. With or without a" I completed my words.
Letting them hang in the air. In between us.
I stood close to her. Looking at us both, our reflection through the mirror.
Then I slowly traced my thumb over the bottom lip of hers. Leaning a little bit closer. Wiping the little smudged lipstick from the corner of her lips.
She took a shaky breath. And it undid me further. My gaze dropped from her eyes to her parted lips.
Fuck.
Taste of sanity.
I quickly look elsewhere.
Adding "Red lipstick suits you " as I pulled my hand away. Immediately .Like it was electrocuted.
She nods once, mumbling an 'okay'.
Words baby doll . Words.
My gaze then drops to her hairline. A small trace of vermillion. But it was not quite visible. So I gently, slowly leaned forward to her vanity.
Taking the small box of sindoor in my hands.
Taking a pinch full of it in my fingertips.
She did not protest. Just dropped her gaze, blinking her eyes in silent permission.
My fingers flexed over her hairline for a minute. Self contemplating.
Before I filled in her hairline with the vermillion.
Marking her as mine.....
.
.
.
.
.
The house was chaotic. Distant cousins, the uncles and the always looking for gossip aunties.
I never hated them, but the thought of being scrutinized by them, nah thanks.
The conversations were smooth. Passing from one crowd to another. With that fake smile of mine. As if I wasn't planning on ditching the whole thing and just lounging on my couch like a potato and watching IPL.
She was good as well, but her acting was better. Or maybe she was genuinely interested in conversation with relatives she was meeting for the first time.
The priest started chanting the mantra. The Satyanarayana Katha started. My parents were performing the ritual. As we both sat on the sidelines. With others.
I was supposed to sit with my family but i decided to stay with her.
An hour passes, with the rituals being carried.
I won't say I am a whole religious person. Like i do believe in God and respect it all, but you won't find me going to temples everyday to prove that.
But yah, i can stay focused while these things carry on.
Am more into 'Karma-vert' thingy.
Which is the whole exception. Because my family is more into the whole religious thing.
"Yeh puja sampann hui" the priests words drove me back to the present. As the collection of relatives sang the final Aarti.
(This puja concludes)
The holy prasad was distributed.
And slowly the groups are divided for food and photos.
I found myself in a group of uncles. Discussing Bitcoin and Shares and Politics.
Dipping their samosas in chutney and eating a mouthful while talking about the latest trends.
I would have been one of the richest people alive maybe if I would have invested in it. Rather than buying Video games as a teenager.
Aarohi, herself was in a group of ladies.
I walked towards them, because bitcoin had bored me now.
"Ladies" I say, gaining attention, before adding "and more ladies" as more ladies joined in. I dipped my head in acknowledgement.
"So Advik. How was Malaysia....?" One aunt asks, her face fully grinning with all the bright thoughts.
"It's beautiful" I try to act nonchalant.
"So when are we hearing good news..?" One , even bolder cousin of mine asks. With a smirk.Â
Aarohi chokes on her samosa and I look 50 shades of red. 50 shades of mortification.
I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly.
Damn aunties and their nosyness.
"Areee...Tumne shaadi itni jaldi baazi main karli. Abhi time lo jra."
I facepalm myself. Wanting to say something like 'shut the fuck up ' but I only give my most convincing grin.
(You married in such a rush. Now take time)
"Sure. Whenever my wife wants"
"Ha. When my husband wants" Aarohi adds and I mentally cursed myself again.
"Bhabhi you are blushing" Adheera , the nosiest person alive here adds with a grin.
I hate this girl. To the core.
"She is not blushing. You are embarrassing her. Shit head" i say in a low whisper to her. My voice is laced with annoyance and control. Adheera nods vigorously, finally giving up the fight. Because she knows, I will just grab her hair in the crowd.
" So are you planning a baby already....?" Another cousin asks. This one is a younger one.
"That's an incredible question cousin. I will let you know once we are expecting" i say with a fake smile before rolling my eyes for the 100th time now.
If wishes could kill, this room will be a fucking squid game island .
After the red light green light game.
I grab my wife's arm before swiping her away from the crowd.
"You don't have to bear witness to their antics. You have a free will to say 'shut the fuck up' to them"
I say when we are out of reach.
And she had the audacity to laugh. Wholly.
"I can't say that. Appearances matter"
Snorts again "imagine me saying that to them"
I roll my eyes, mumbling "stupid woman"
"What are you offended..?"
"Do you know what they were implying" I say pointing my finger between us. That seems to click a bulb in her head. As she nods vigorously.
"Do you want to become a mother..?" I couldn't help but ask. Of course I know the answer.
She goes silent for a moment
"I don't know."
"Good. Main bhi baap nahi Banna chahta" I say, letting a breath I didn't knew I was holding.
(I also don't want to become a father)
"Why...?"
"I can't even keep a plant alive" I say, as if that makes sense. I have never given thought to the whole 'father, husband , settling down' thing.
Marriage itself was something I did not plan for . But it happened.
But children...?
Damn. I am the most undesirable guy for that. Even a teenager is better with children .
I once dropped Adheera on her head as a child. Explains her dumbness.
But the conclusion is that I am just........... Very careless.
And truly, having children in this era...?
Nah. The world is too cruel. I don't want to bind my child to certain 'societal expectations '.
It's not like I will be crap if I have children accidentally. Like I will adore them to the death .
But kindly. Am not prepared.
I will still choose my peace over changing diapers.
"Or are you just faulted...???" She says before disappearing into the crowd and I see red. I clench-unclench my fists.
My jaw tighten at the implication.
"Give me one chance baby . I can surely prove that theory very wronggggggg" I shoot back
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