MY HAPPY MARRIAGE

"You are the light to my dark, Sunshine.
Without you I am lost"

~Alex Volklov
Twisted Love

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~A A R O H I~

I could not believe I said that to him. It wasn't intentional but it slipped off my tongue before I could even think. So the best thing I could do was to sprint from there.
Hide somewhere.
Anywhere.

His voice cut through my attempt to disappear "Give me one chance baby. I can prove that theory  very wronggggggg"
I wanted to bury myself 6 feet under the ground.

Or maybe take off to Mars.

However, I stopped in the middle of running.
I froze. Not dramatically.
But I very much knew he saw that. The slight hesitation and awkwardness that followed.
The way my shoulders had stiffened just for a moment.
Slowly, I turned back. Looking at him again. His brows lifted , along  that familiar grin which spread across his lips. And gave me that perfect view of those deep dimples
His grey eyes bored into mine. The kind of which shined.
Those eyes had the ability to light up this whole town.

"Ohh really..?" I finally found my voice again. He in response took a step forward. Still grinning widely, adjusting the sleeves of his kurta. Which he had rolled up.

Giving me a perfect view of those beautifully made forearms. The veiny hands.
I immediately looked up. 
As he wickedly said "Really." Another step closer "want a demonstration??"

I could feel red creeping over my neck. My fingers twisted in the pallu of my saree as I looked anywhere but towards him .

"What happened bhabhi...?" Adheera asked , standing in front of me, appearing from nowhere. But thank God she did.
That interruption was required.
However, he..? He let out a rough sigh. Stepping back. The tension gone. For now.

"All good....?" She asks, looking in between both of us, with her arms crossed over her chest and a mischievous grin on her face. Figuring out something. Decoding us.

"Nothing" I said immediately, fanning myself with my pallu.

"You seem distressed" she points out "and so red'

"Am not RED!!"

"You are very RED Mrs.Advik" he says standing beside Adheera. Fuck my life.

"No. It's just Heat!!! "

"Just heat ??" he rolls his eyes "Convincing me or yourself , Mrs Advik??" .
He did say that because I immediately facepalm myself, only for him to hold my both wrists. Pulling my hands down. Away from my face.

"Don't hide from me wifyy" the audacity of this Bishhh!

"Ohhhhhhhh" a long exasperated laugh came out . Adesh. Of course.

He rubbed his temple.
"What now..?"

"What did I just witness " Adesh Snickers "the vibes. The tension "

"Vibes..?" We both blurt out as Adesh just sighs. Joining Adheera.

"Yes . The vibes "
"You emotionally constipated Giraffe " Adheera backs off Adesh, gesturing at Advik.  I couldn't help but laugh at that.

He looks at me . Murmuring 'Traitor'
I ignored that.
I turned to the duo. With a glare , I say
"You both need hobbies"

"This is one of the hobbies" Adesh says
"Troubling the Aaru-Adu  couple" Adheera backs him up.

"The what .." he chokes out "what couple??"

"You heard her dude. The infamous Aaru-Adu Couple" Adesh couldn't complete, because Advik literally lunges onto him. Grabbing his collar.

"Bhabhi. Blink twice if my brother is being immature , dramatic and confusing "  Adheera turns to me, linking her arm with me.

"She won't " Advik protest but I blink . Anyway.
He drags his hand above his face. In mock irritation.

"I hate you all!!!!"

"Feelings are mutual brother" Adesh says as he successfully pulls himself out of his grip.

"I am not dramatic " he sticks to his ground.

"You threatened to prove your fertility in middle of a HALLWAY" Adheera couldn't stop .

"You both are being highly unreasonable" he takes a step back,
"Mother should have stopped at one"

We three bark out a laugh "mother knew you were hopeless. So she had me" Adheera counter backs.

"Guess ...chachi failed twice" Adesh mutters, earning a glare from both Advik and Adheera.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be busy" I finally try to change the subject, like the responsible person here should. "Should you not attend the relatives...?" I ask directly looking at him.

"Jab hamari biwi itni pyari lag rahi hai " he stares, looking at me with that tiny half smile "bakiyon pr dhyaan kaise de hum"
(When my wife is looking so pretty, how can I spare attention to others?)

Adheera coos from behind, laughing as she rests her head on his shoulder.
"Bhabhi toh paani paani hogyi" she remarks and I could not deny that allegation. I was feeling like I was melting at his words.

(Sister in law is melting)

I roll my eyes, crossing my hand over my chest. Trying to sound irritated "Aap teeno ko koi kam nahi hai." My lips curve as I take a step forward
"Par mujhe na bahot sare kam hai. " I complete before turning back on my heel and dashing off from their.

(You both don't have anything to do but I am very busy)

"Aree Devijii...aap toh Hume akele chhodh jane lagi" he says from behind but I don't stop. I just fasten my steps .

(Ohh wifyy...you are leaving me behind)

Adesh follows me .
"Vaise bhabhi. Aapke relatives bhi toh aye hai na...?" He asks , falling a step beside me.
(

Btw Sister in law, your relatives are also here right...?)

"Ha ...toh..?"

(Yes...so..?)

"Voh aapke cousin se introduce kara deti. Voh Red suit vali" he says, scratching the back of his neck.

(Could you introduce me to your cousin. The one in a red suit)

I try to feign innocence.
"Ohhh Riya se..? Magar kyu devar ji...?"

(Ohh with Riya...? But why brother in law??)

"Are...aapko Devrani nahi chahiye kya??"

(Ahh ..don't you want a sister in law too..?)

"Chahiye toh" I smile "Pr meri cousin par app dore dal rahe ho ab.."

(I do want. But you are eyeing my cousin)

"Toh..? Use toh maine shaadi Mai hi dekha tha. " He says shyly "pyari hai"

(So...? I noticed her in your wedding itself. She's lovely)

I could not help but pull his cheek.
"Cutie patootie" I say with warmth
"Let's try "

He nods like a Child on Christmas morning. Unwrapping his gifts. Like an hyper excited golden retriever.
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I was talking with some guests, an elderly couple. Some distant relatives from his side. As I bowed down to touch their feet in respect.
"Kitni pyari ho" the elderly woman coos, as she placed her hand over my head. Giving me blessings.

(How sweet you are)

"Sada suhagan raho"

I smiled warmly, the kind of which reached my eyes. That was one of the best blessings a married woman could receive.

Dadi and Badi maa were introducing me to some more relatives, which was a relief because that helped me stay away from his prying eyes. He just loved annoying me .
riling me up.
Always teasing me.

"Aaru Diii... Pictures!!!" Riya, my cousin chimes in. Pulling me by hand and dragging me to the group of others.
Adheera, Adesh, Herself, my cousin Raj and ofcourse Advik.

"Bhabhi cheese" Adheera does the hand gesture , linking her arms with me as Adesh clicks the group selfie.

Riya claps her hands ," now individual pictures"

Adesh, nods like an loyal soldier.

"Bhabhi, stand with bhai" Adheera nudges me towards him. And he instinctively places his hand on the small of my back. Not touching. Yet.

"You okay..?" He asks in a low murmur as I deep my head.

"Ahhh.....stop social distancing " Raj, my cousin groans, as he holds the Camera.

"Bhai hands on her waist" Adheera commands.

"Areyyy smile karo jiju...GST thodi lagta hai" Riya adds.
(Smile brother in law, GST is not  required for smiling)

"Bhai lean in close"

"Bhabhi look at him"

"This is not working. " Raj drops his hands down in irritation as Advik rolls his eyes. Finally placing his hand on my waist. Pulling me close. And smiles brightly.
His warm palm touched my bare skin.
And I ? dumbfounded, look at him.

Kissik the camera clicks.

"One more shot" Adesh says.

"~pehla pehla , pyar hai....
~pehli pehli , bar hai..."
Riya and Adheera start singing off key.

"Stupid girls" I blurted out, only meant  for his ears.
"Very stupid girls" his voice deeps lower, as his hands flexes over my spine. And my heart does that weird somersault thingy.

Am I  looking okay..? Are my hairs okay..?
My skin breaks out during menstruation. Am I looking beautiful..?

"Don't worry. You look beautiful to me" he adds.

"Did you hear my thoughts..?"

"You think loudly" he replies as he tucks behind the stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"Am gonna frame these pictures!!!!" Adheera squeels as we both look at her irritated.

"Perfecto. The camera man did a good job" Raj praises himself.
Only to earn a nudge by Riya .

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After sometime, I finally settled onto a seat. Along with my mom. The crowd had become less concentrated.
We hadn't met much since the wedding as my parents mostly stayed away from home on buisness trips year round.
But yah, weekly calls was still a thing.

And to be honest, I knew that despite the distance they still loved me. So did I.
It's just, I was more familiar with their absence then presence.

Books and Dramas made up for their absence. Win win.

"How is the married life treating you beta...?" My mother asked, she was draped in a green Banarasi saree. Her hairs in a perfect bob , which she maintained like a ritual. From toe to head, she loved perfection.
Jewels, clothes and even the nail paint had to be matching. Designer. Branded.

She was very  high maintenance.

And I was very glad , I did take after my father afterall in that sense.

Don't give me branded things, or maybe you can. But I will be more happy to recieve free ice cream supplies for a lifetime.

My lips pressed in a thin line as I looked up at her , my head doing a 'yes' motion.

She immediately let out a sigh, her eyes glinting "that's a relief Aaru" her hand instinctively rests on mine. Her warm motherly touch, too familiar.
"After everything..." She paused " are you sure..?"

"Yes maa" I tighten my hold over her hand " I am fine and very happy"

How could I tell her that my replaced husband, whom I never thought I could tolerate treated me better than anyone else. He was not only becoming my partner but also a good friend.
My safe place.

And friendship is the greatest foundation for love, right..?

When last night he had whispered,
"You don't have to wait for me" , I did heard that. I was asleep but my subconscious self  knew.

How could I not wait for him, when he was the only one who stayed..?

My marriage with Aditya, it was arranged. A business deal some sort off. And Yah, we did met a few times. I was naive. I didn't know much about him. He was not rude , but just reserved. And maybe I just fell without thinking.

I said yes to the marriage because after being all alone , my entire life. As the only child of my parents. And them staying for months, I desperately needed my person. Someone whom I could call my 'home'.

My family, my partner.
Someone who cares for me.
Maybe I was too desperate for it all .

Can you blame me..?
When I was sick, I had no one but my nanny to take care of me.
When I got my first period...? I got the entire 'maturing'  talk from the maids and YouTube tutorials.
When I fell, or when I cleared my exams with a good rank. I had no one to be with me at that moment and celebrate.

I would call maa and papa, but mostly the calls would go straight to voicemail.

So when I said I just wanted to be loved and choosen, I was desperate. Without thinking much, just in a few meets . I said yes to an Arranged Marriage with Aditya.
He had a family, joint family. Which I always craved for.

Alas, he didn't stay. He left.
And when I thought , I felt that maybe I was too hard to be choosen,

Advik held me.

It was a compromise from his side,  but when you are parched for something so basic and so human.
Even the little room of hope becomes everything you would burn for.

He stayed, cared.
Not by some mere words. But by his actions.
So when I said I am happy in this marriage, I am. Truly.

Maybe , just maybe. If I had met him before. Things would have been different and better.

I don't expect anything from him. He doesn't owe me anything.
Not love, not loyalty.
I just. Hope. That he continues to be with me. Stay beside me.
Hold me when I break and laugh when I crack a joke.

Maybe that would be how I would define my happy marriage.

Maybe I am happy That I married Advik, and not Aditya.
Aditya was like passing cloud. His reasons were understandable ,but his actions..?

Advik on contradiction. He took charge when needed. He stayed. Through silence. He didn't disrespect me. Or question. When things were difficult, he knew what to do. Through his actions, and not just by mere words.
He was calm, but also complete chaos.
But he knew what to do at right time.

Aditya was all bluff, but Advik..?
He spoke through his gestures.
Took responsibility.
Held everything together.

I look at my mother, "I am happy with Advik" he treats me better than anyone could ever could. He doesn't blame me or  treats me like an secret. He keeps me like an old sacred prayer.
Not A burden. But as someone who was on same level as him.
As human.

So maybe, this marriage of compulsion, was just  becoming my Happy Marriage.