"I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

You're not my homeland anymore

So, what am I defending now?

You were my town

Now I'm in exile, seeing you out

I think I've seen this film before"

~Exile By Taylor Swift

_KAIRA_

My footsteps echoed through the forgotten aka the north wing of the Raisinghania Estate.

The same place, which used to be my home once.

But after twelve years of absence, This place seemed anything but like home.

The staff had changed. Ofcourse.

They didn't recognise me . For them I was just a guest.

As I walked inside, My gaze drifted upon the picture frame in the centre of the living area.

It was a family picture. Mom, Kavya dii and Krish. Mom sat in the centre on a cushioned chair. She still had those dark eyes which used to carry warmth for me. Beside her on the left side , Kavya dii stood proud.

"Beautiful" escaped my mouth.

She had inherited my mother's beauty exactly. Dark eyes, dark hair midwaist length. Similar smile.

On the right hand side stood krish. Taller than I remember. Not the same baby brother I had left behind years ago. Sharp jaw, dark eyes like mom. Dark hairs which looked messy. He stood confident.

The picture looked recent. And for obvious reasons , I wasn't a part of those picture. Just the way I wasn't a part of their lives for the past decade .

It should have hurt me,but it didn't now . Although It surely would have hurted the 16 year old me...but now this 28 year old woman felt nothing.

I had stopped belonging with them the day my father had died.

I took a deep inhale before averting my gaze.

The furniture was expensive, elite. The Raisinghania Type Expensive. French Antique and Italian Marble. Everything screamed wealth.

"You are here" I turned towards the direction of the voice. The same voice which used to carry love, affection for me years ago. My mother.

She stood near the staircase. Pale yellow kurta, white palazzos and hairs in a perfect bob. Falling over her shoulders. She looked older than her age somehow.

Life had been cruel to her .

And the way she was looking at me from head to toe, as if I was a rare insect withering under the microscope made my throat go dry. I tried to form words. Something. Anything. 'hi' 'i missed you' 'i hate you for forgetting me'

But nothing came. As I just stood and stared and stared.

Funny how I used to have so many things to tell to her once upon a time. But now I don't even know how to properly greet her.

Maybe noticing my inner turmoil, she cleared her throat once before taking a step towards me. "You are here"

I took a step back, trying to meet her eyes but failed miserably because maybe If i looked at her face, Maybe i will crumble down. Maybe I will start crying. Which I did not want to.

Because I wasn't her little girl. I wasn't the girl who waited for days for her single call. I wasn't the girl anymore who begged her to call me back. I couldn't cry.

I couldn't shatter now.

So I did the coward move, looked away "hello" . I said. Like the person standing in front of me was some stranger, and not the woman I admired for most of my life.

I expected her to hug me. 12 years without your daughter. Isn't that the valid reaction. ...? Crying. Apologizing for cutting me off. Sending me away.

But she just stood there, waiting for me to say something. I couldn't.

I laughed a humorless chuckle.

"It's been long"

"You have grown" she commented, her voice wasn't cold but not warm either. Just acknowledgement. That your unfavourite daughter is back. Bare with her presence now.

"Ofcourse. " I said instead.

"Maa-" Kavya dii's voice echoed next , as she walked downstairs. And then just stared at me. As if we weren't bestfriends in the past who shared every secret.

"Hii di" I said first. She looked as charming, even the picture couldn't justice her beauty. She wore a creme satin blouse and black pants .

And then , unknowingly my gaze flicked down towards her prosthetic leg. And guilt slurged through my veins. Because She has been like this for a decade now.

And I wasn't there with her at that time. Dad had lost his life in that accident. I lost my family. And she had lost her feet.

"Kaira" she looked confused. As if she didn't know I was coming.

"She's here for Shanaya's wedding" Mom said then , at that she nodded . "Yah. Just forgot that" of course.

Me returning back was a very normal day to day event.

"You look taller" she informed me.

"Heels" I glanced down at my footwear.

Then , dead silence.

For days before coming here, I would stay awake in my room. Thinking about this reunion. Tears. Happy perhaps.

'We missed you'. 'We are sorry.' 'We are family.'

Something. Anything. But it was awkward. Now.

"Krish?." I asked then .

"College." Kavya dii informed me.

"You must be tired . " Mom concluded taking in my look. I nodded. Sixteen hours of flying, Was tiring in fact.

"The guest wing has been arranged for you along with the other guests." She informed me next .

'guests' such a cruel, heartless word. For someone who shared the same blood and surname.

"Ohh. Sure. Thanks " I say , then turn back , Adjusting the carry on bag I was holding. Getting out of the north wing as fast as I can.

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The moment I entered the guest room, which I was unable to find for the first few minutes, because apparently... The central wing had undergone various kinds of modifications in my absence.

One staff member, Named Sushila assisted me to the guest bedroom.

I dropped into the absolutely soft and plushy bed. Hours of flying finally taking over me.

For a few moments I kept staring at the ceiling. And the same voice echoed through my head again and again.

"She didn't even bother to talk to me properly or at least hug me. She could have at least pretended to be happy seeing me after a whole twelve years."

Sometime later, sleep finally came.

That I didn't even bother with my clothes. Jet lag. Back ache. Sleep.

I just drifted off .

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Hours later, I woke up feeling very very hot. Mumbai Humidity was fucking with my head now.

I freshend up. Pulled out decent clothes from my luggage. Then decided it was time to formally introduce everyone to my presence.

If I was a guest here, I should atleast behave like one.

Knock knock. Your exiled princess is back.

I walked down, with a light ache in my head.

' Woah.' Left my mouth when my eyes fell upon the interior. The main living room looked .....posh. as it must be. Expensive..as it must me.

And I looked completely out of this place.

"Kaira is - is that you???" I turned towards the carrier of the voice. Mihir Sharma. Annoying. Clumsy. And same as my age.

"Yah." I smiled clumsily as he pulled me into a tight embrace. Which must have been very confusing for anyone who knew us in past. We hated each other.

Really. He was a bastard who once ...dared to put chewing gum in my hairs. Lord I hated him.

He looked taller, which was bad for my neck because he used to be literally shorter than me. He looked like his father. Great. 7/10.

I looked up at his tall frame through the embrace "your choking me you know"

He immediately gave me an half annoyed half cocky grin , Then pulled away.

"I missed you cousin"

Aww my sweety pie mihir. I missed you too. "Me too"

"So finally the Americans threw you out" Shaan Bhaiya walked in next , carrying his effortless non-existent aura. Even a child and a wife couldn't humble him down.

"Yah they realised I am exploiting their economy" I joked, he laughed. End of the story. Then he gave me side hug.

"You look beautiful"

"Aww ..that's sweet" I cooed.

"Still annoying" Mihir added.

"Shut up dude" we both groaned in unison.

"Where's Maya dii..?" I turned to Mihir

"in the hospital." he replied. As I had assumed.

"And bride to be??" I asked to shaan bhaiya. "Salon. She kidnapped my wife and child. And little poor Prisha...she's also pulled out with them . "

I made a mental note. "Dadu? Bade papa!?.. everyone??"

"Office. Office" they both said.

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For the next half an hour, I was getting a tour of the estate plus commentary of Mihir as complementary.

He told me about the staff, then about how Neil, Shaan bhai's child had personally betrayed everyone by looking nothing like the Raisinghania's.

Then about the recent office Gossip.

"That janitor is fishy." I concluded as Mihir nodded.

Soon, Shanaya and Taniya bhabhi found us strolling through the massive Raisinghania gardens.

"Babe You are finally here!!!" Shanaya squealed happily before crashing me into a Hug . I almost lost my balance.

"Yes. I am real. now don't choke me" I said cautiously as the girl still grinned like a fluffy golden retriever would do.

"Meet her this is Taniya bhabhi " she pointed in between us "this is Kaira"

I said " hello."

Taniya bhabhi smiled at me . "Shaan told me about you . Nice to finally meet you" she smiled.

Then my eyes dropped to the little boy standing behind her. He was peeking towards me, then quickly hiding behind his mother's legs.

I crouched down to his level.

"Hi buddy" I offered with an enthusiastic smile. His doe eyes flickered in confusion and then, his cheeks turned red. I stretched my arms , Offering him an hug.

He looked at his parents once. "She's your bua. Go" Shaan bhaiya informed him as the child again peeked towards me. Then refused. And hugged his mother more tightly.

Rejected by two year old. Woah.

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Later , Dada and Dadi finally returned back from their temple visit. And the moment they were informed I was here, The old lady basically ran towards me.

Then hugged me so tightly, Almost knocked off the air out of my lungs

"My baccha" she cupped my cheeks."you look so thin" That was the first thing she said.

"I gained 3 kgs this month dadi. Your theory is scientifically Wrong" I corrected as she pinched the bridge of my nose .

Dadu was next. Honestly, I had met both of my grandparents earlier this year as they have been visiting the states anyway.

I touched his feet as he pulled me into a hug. "How do you feel about being here, Kittu?" He asked ruffling my hair.

Kittu, was my nickname.

The one my dad had given me . And after him , no one really called me that. Only dadu and sometimes dadi . I smiled

"it's still not hitting me yet. " I said honestly. Which was true.

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An hour later, I found myself dining with the other Raisinghania's too. The giant dining table was made of timber wood.

The food spread was quite large. Dal makhani, Butter Chicken, Paneer masala, Naan and Rotis , Jeera Rice , Raita, Dadi's special Kheer and Khichdi circulated around.

The food smelled so good. And the taste, It was even better. Even though after twelve years of eating bland american food, My taste buds had lost their spice tolerance.

Mostly, I drank water . While answering questions of my curious family.

Nikita bua asked "So how long are you visiting this time..?" it was literally my first day and everyone was already thinking of my departure.

"After the wedding" I answered without any hesitation. That was the truth. But when my gaze dropped towards my mother and sister sitting in front of me. Disappointed surged through my veins . Because she had visibly relaxed . I had never felt so unwelcomed before.

Nirav Chachu said next "You should stay back now. You are done with your education" I nodded. I was so used to dining alone most of the time, That this conversation made me feel really uncomfortable. Yet I plastered a smile.

"Yes. Mumbai itself has various opportunities in your career " Jyoti Chachi added on. She sat beside Nirav chachu. The lady had earlier pulled me into a hug and said 'I missed you so much dear'.

Not enough to call me once or visit me once though. The bitter truth stayed with me.

Everyone I had met today, in the family had told me that they had missed me 'all these years' but none of them had ever tried to contact me unless it was very urgent. So I knew, They didn't mean that . Well , My own birth mother had been a total stranger to me and my own siblings had forgotten my return like it was a normal day. So I don't expect much from others .

"So Kaira " bade papa, Nikhil Raisinghania cleared his throat. And everyone looked at him . Immediately. He sat beside Dadu and badi maa sat next to him. "You are working for the Miller's?" He questioned and I nodded .

"Legal team. I got promoted three months back" I added the information before I could stop myself. The family nodded.

"That is very impressive" Dev uncle, my fufa said. "That is a very prestigious Conglomerate you are working for."

I smiled knowingly. Because this was what I was. Something I had achieved on my own. Without the Raisinghania name . Without anyone's support. All alone in an foreign land.

"Such a disappointment" Dadi scoffed bitterly, "you work for someone else, when you could be working for your own family business". The way Bade papas jaw tightened at that implication did not go unnoticed by me.

Because, Naman Raisinghania's children were out of the family business. It was an unwritten rule. Shaan Bhaiya and Shanaya worked under their father.

Maya dii was already in the hospital group . Mihir and Prisha would join sooner or later.

But us three ..we weren't a part of that empire. Kavya dii ran her own fashion line. And Krish was also going to join it soon.

Before things could become more awkward, I nervously added "Dadi! I have a life in the USA ." and honestly, the last thing I wanted was to be a part of their charming Raisinghania world.

No one brought it up again.

Conversations flowed easily as the food was passed . The noises blurred as everyone had a topic. And most of it, I nodded along. Because I wasn't sure what they talked about.

Who was Mr Oberoi they were talking of? What happened at the latest charity gala? Whose son got engaged to whom? The conversations which I wasn't a part of. Of the events I never had attended.

And I had somehow realised, I didn't belong to this world anymore. I was a Raisinghania only by blood and name, But I had stopped being one of them long ago. Now I was just Kaira , A guest. The thought should not have mattered, but it did. Because this place was my home once, this family was mine once.

And now I don't know where I belong anymore.

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After the dinner chaos had faded , I was informed by one of the staff that Dadu wanted to meet me. Which was how I had ended up in his room.

The room was different now. Not how I remembered. But it still smelled like him, like dadi. Sandalwood and Jasmine.

Dadi rested on her rocking chair, a book in her hands. Relaxed. Dadu was going through some documents, sitting on the edge of the bed.

I stood in the doorway for long before knocking on the door and entering. Dadi smiled, dadu looked calm. Then he gently patted beside him for me to sit.

Once I sat down beside him, he carefully ran his calloused hand across my face. His touch was warm. Something, I was too familiar with. Or used to be.

"It's nice to see you again , at home" he told me, his voice almost apologetic as if he wasn't the one who had sent me away years ago.

"This place has changed." I said instead. Because this place, did not feel like how it used to feel a long time ago. Warm. Welcoming.

"I was serious about what I said earlier" dadi said firmly, sitting on the other side of the bed beside me. Her wrinkled hand found mine. She held it in hers "it's been years. And every time I bring this topic up, everyone ignores it." she continued "it's time you stay back again for good."

"No" I said without even considering it because there was nothing to think about. I can't stay here forever, not when I feel like a guest in my own fucking house. When my blood mother doesn't acknowledge my presence. "I have a job dadi."

"You are grown up. Settled. Of marriageble age. You can't stay in a foreign country forever. This is home. This is your family."

"No dadi. This place does not feel like home anymore to me." I lowered my gaze, trying to hide the immediate lump that had formed in my throat. "I am just here for my cousin's wedding."

"Let's not drag her into these topics right now. Let's see in future" dadu said then, patting my back with familiar warmth And dadi did not say anything back . Because she knew, something's needed time.

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I tossed and turned on my new bed in the guest bedroom. It was almost 2 am and I was unable to sleep. Thanks to my jet lag and me being asleep just a few hours ago.

I counted sheep and tried to steady my breath. But sleep couldn't find me anymore. Not when my mind was still awake and replaying the events of the day on a loop.

No. We aren't spiralling right now. Also , My stomach made an odd sound. I was hungry. Don't blame me. I did have dinner, or tried to have. The food was good but a little too spicy. Which was why I could barely finish a roti.

I had instead chugged down water mostly.

And now I was hungry.

I walked downstairs. Trying to locate the kitchen which was a challenge itself. The estate looked scary at night. With its high ceilings and shadows peeking around. The sound of wind. And Mumbai monsoon, hitting violently against the glass windows.

Rains. Monsoons. I hated them. Because they reminded me of everything yet again. The house was quiet, because normal people preferred to sleep at 2 am. But I saw lights peeking through the East wing. Which meant Bade Papa's family was still awake. Or mostly he must be.

That man was a workaholic as Badi maa had said sometime ago to me. So not very surprising.

One look at the kitchen and I looked up at the sky "have mercy on me lord. This ain't an army base camp.". Because everything was confusing.

For the first 10 mins, I was unable to understand how to turn on the induction . Then finally I understood how to. Then I tried to surf through the cabinets, finding leftovers? Noodles? Anything.

Finally I found milk in the refrigerator. And thanked God . I heated it carefully, trying not to make a sound. Because it will be very embarrassing if someone sees me like this.

I was wearing my night shorts and a simple tshirt. My hair was tied in a messy bun.

So I hastened my speed. Poured the warm milk in a mug. Little bit of sugar, which I found from one of the cabinets.

After drinking the milk and placing the mug in the dishwasher, I Started walking towards the guest lounge area. Which was deeply confusing because the hallways looked the same. And it was dark.

I took a right, then took a left. Then walked back again because I had mistakenly entered the staff lounge area instead.

Yes, I was lost in my own childhood house. For context, I was still new here and trying to adjust to the surroundings.

Maybe that was when god personally wanted to humiliate me. Because one minute I was rushing down from the staff lounge area, The other I hit a wall.

Or something solid like a wall.

But the wall was.... surprisingly broad. Warm. And smelled like mint, woods and whiskey. Impressive wall.

The wall suddenly sprouted hands. Because clumsy me had almost lost its balance while sniffing the wall and then I had realised.

Ohh shit.

It wasn't the wall. It was a human being. Because the moment my leg slipped, the person wrapped their hands around my waist to steady me. And pulled me closer that I crashed against his chest. His being the pronoun here .

And then came a very deep , low and somehow very seductive voice "careful" one word only.

I immediately shut my eyes out of sheer embarrassment. The person stabilized me until I wasn't falling and Then slowly I finally gained the courage to open my eyes. Then, I looked up. To meet the persons eye level.

The person in question was already looking down at me. And the first impressions...thick glasses . Dark eyes. Sharp jaw. A smirk painted on his lips. As he looked down at me.

A considerably handsome man. He was tall, very much. As my